Mommy

She makes me happy
She calls me Korey
She says you are my son with an expression of glory
I can see she is really trying
and Im so happy I don't have to keep up the lying
She tells me "I will always be here for you"
One sad thing is I know she is one of the few
She is not only my mommy
She is also a true friend
She is always here to help me when I am on the mend
She never sees herself in the right light
When I look at her I see a woman with alot of might
I hope one day she will feel love like I do
And open her heart to see that someone can love her too


Korey Conley

Guest Author - Love has no gender

Foreword

I received this email from Shaiy, talking about meeting her FTM partner. I thought it was a nice insight into how it can be for someone who has very little understanding of the trans community to fall in love with an FTM. So, with Shaiy's permission, I'm going to share it with you all, enjoy!

Keltik



Hi Keltik,

I'm a Bisexual. Well I used to be. To me, it was either a guy, or a girl. I've never met anyone like Rayyan. It was one year ago that we met. We were seating across each other with our bunch of Les friends at Starbucks. Well everyone thought he was a freak just because he was a different kind of a lesbian. So I tried to stay away from him. After a second meet up, I ignored the rest, and tried talking to him. He cracked me up till dawn and we instantly felt the connection. Though, I couldn't understand what was going on. He's going to the doctor every month for a jab and I was ignorant about what's going on. Until he showed me his Youtube and the process of becoming a man. I instantly freaked out. I thought why would someone want to change what they are? Why can't they accept for whatever God has created them to be? He was just starting his T's then.

We went estranged from each other. I thought, I needed time to think, to absorb what the hell was going on. I was clueless about transgendered male. I thought it only happen from a male to female.Like I said, I was ignorant. So we didn't contact each other for a couple of months. When he wasn't around, I decided to do some research and found out a lot of things about transgendered male and the worldwide phenomenon of Thomas Beatie. I also saw a 20/20 of transgendered children. I thought wow, that's really something.

It took me a lot of months before accepting that he’s an FTM and I needed to accept him as a him now. Constantly at the back of my mind, it was always, why do I need to date a guy when I’m already comfortable dating girls. My darling was patient enough to get me accept for who he is and what things might be. I didn’t understand. I was confused at the same time when we were dating, I was dating someone else. My career when into kickstart and I kept on going back to him whenever my mind went into pressure even when I was attached to a girl. He dated someone and something inside me said no, he belongs to me. I think I was selfish, but I was just following my heart.
Now, after more than a year and officially together, we are finally happy and accepting each other for whatever we are. I love him to the core, wish to marry, have kids, and live happily. Though that's another rough stage we need to go through here in Asia.




Shaiy

As Is

Dear Ethan,

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Because of you,

I have finally learned to love my body.

As is.

Not as it could be

or should be

or might happen later.

As is.

With saggy breasts,

manhole,

and dicklet.

As is.

Because of you,

I’ve decided not to have top surgery.



I know you didn’t do this on purpose.

You were horny.

I was horny.

We had sex.

I’m sure that’s all it was to you.

In some respects,

that’s all it was to me, too.

I thoroughly enjoyed it.

No one had touched me like that in years.

But



Seeing your beautiful body

in all its glory

Deeply affected me.

How could your body be beautiful

if it was so much like mine?

I hated my body

But



Now I see that we’re both beautiful

Just as we are.

As is.

No surgery required.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.


Aran

Shapeshifting For Beginners

Three weeks ago today I had 1000mg 1M of Nebido, a slow-release formulation of testosterone, injected into the top of my right gluteous maximus muscle in my bum. My girlfriend held my hand, and as I felt the sharp prick of the needle and relaxed into a wave of satisfaction, she wept ine the power of the moment.

I have begun my shapeshifting journey by way of masculinising therapy and I am feeling my transformation from the inside out. So much is happening to me it feels, I have to say, sometimes overwhelming and I have an urge to bolt somewhere to safety while my body, mind and spirit transmutes. My organismic self has never felt so alive, boosted in turbocharge by a hormone it hasn’t ever felt in such abundance before.

The most profound change I have noticed so far is how I feel about myself. My self-belief has soared and my understanding of who and where and how I am in the world is becoming clearer to me. I am also more profoundly aware of my personal limits than ever before too and have been wrapped up with a constant ethical dialogue going on in my mind about how I am relating to my young clients. I still have not experienced any negative issues with the young people as they discover my new gender identity. As I expected I can get some very direct and personal questions, e.g. “will you have a willy?” to which I answer that I am not prepared to talk about my private parts in the same way as I would not ask them questions about their’s!!! Questions like “will you be able to get your girlfriend pregnant?” I answer with factual accuracy (erm… NO!) and I respect that the questions are asked to satisfy a natural curiosity about an area of difference that most have never come across personally before.

I get a sense that my openness is encouraging healthy mind-stretching about what it means ‘to be a man’ and questions of self-identity. It’s probably not surprising that many teenagers are intensely interested in seemingly existential challenges to this thing we call ‘self’ and what it means. These years are all about finding one’s own self-identity, separating out from parents and learning to be independent. I remember acutely those moments in my puberty first time round when it all went so horribly wrong and I was left with a fragmented and shattered sense of self. This time round I get the most amazing opportunity to do it in a way that is congruent with my gender-identity and I feel my sense of self has a much stronger integrity now. My boundaries feel clearer at a time when they appear so fuzzy. Wow, at three weeks this can only grow now and my shapeshifting mind-body-spirit continuum can morph and vibrate with a freedom I have only dreamt of before.

Sam Feeney

Guest Author - Lesbians Attracted To Transmen

Foreword

I asked Drea if she would make a video explaining why as someone who identifys as a lesbian would be attracted to transmen. I think this is an important issue that should be addressed as it seems to be one misunderstood by many transguys and as such can cause offense. So here is her input on the matter.

Keltik




FemmeDrea

My Beautiful Trans Body

I love my Trans body.

I love it.

I love my hairy face

hairy chest

and hairy butt.

I don’t love my breasts,

but I accept them.

They are mine.

I am theirs.

I love the manly muscles that continue to astound me.

I am solid.

I am strong.

I can lift heavy objects with ease.

I love my bass voice.

Sure I can sing tenor,

but why not make myself heard?

I love my dicklet.

Yes, I wish it were bigger,

but I’m not the only guy who wishes he had a bigger dick.

I love my manhole, too.

I bring it to orgasm whenever I can.

I love my body.

Yes, it is trans.

It will always be trans.

I will never have the penis and testicles I desire.

And that’s okay.

If God wanted me to be a cisman,

God would have made me one,

but God didn’t.

God made me trans instead.

God wanted me to make this journey

From woman to man.

Who am I to argue with that?

Sure, my body is different from lots of other bodies.

So what?

God likes diversity.

God didn’t just make one size or one shape,

Nor did God just make 2 genders or 2 sexes.

God made transpeople.

I am one of them.

I love my Trans body.

I love my body.

‘nough said.


Aran